One of the most challenging struggles in my life is to calm myself down when I get upset. I don’t know that it is truly possible. I am freshly and actively upset right now. My heart feels like it is racing. I can’t shake this mad expression off of my face. My normal routine would be to take a medication and a nap. That is usually the only thing that helps. This time I am trying to help myself by writing.

I’m not sure where to take this after that introduction. I don’t want to write about being upset. That would just feed the fire. I’m currently composing this draft on my phone while lying in bed. Lying on my back usually speeds up the magic that relaxes me.

Ugh, I did not need this stress today. I’m trying to get over Covid. I’ve got more than my fair share of misery on my plate already. I know people throw around phrases like that, carelessly, but trust me; I don’t joke about mental health and suffering. You don’t know the contents of the sack I’m lugging around; no one does. That’s why I started this project. I need an outlet. Is that the right word, outlet? I need to relieve some pressure from the prison of my mind.

I think I feel calmer now. Less angry at least. Not sure how much of that is to be credited to writing vs medicating. (It’s a valid prescription, don’t be concerned.)

I’ve transitioned over to my desk to continue this post. I am feeling better, aside from this cough that won’t quit.

This will be a topic for another day, if I remember: if you have not figured me out yet, I am pro-medication. To me, that means I support the usage of medication to relieve one’s symptoms and conditions. I have zero tolerance for people who shame those of us that need medications. If you are able to live your life naturally, with techniques and practices that you have learned then I applaud you. I truly am happy for you. We are not all the same. Things work or not, for people, differently. Shame on anyone who passes judgement on people who utilize different methods than their own. Mind your business.

Well I hate to end on a negative note. Here, how about this…

Hello there friend, you who is struggling. I see you. I want you to know that it is okay if you need to rely on medications to make you feel whole or to rescue you in times of panic. Don’t feel shame. You are not alone. Just promise me you are getting prescribed those pills from your healthcare professional, and keep them updated on your progress and experiences.